i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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