I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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