Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My liver just had a heart attack.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
