You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
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do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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