I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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