Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
