and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize