Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
