I don't think brook has ever known best
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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