which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
