in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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