She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
