I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
