I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
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I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
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tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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