Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
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We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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