I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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