no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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