garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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