The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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