Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
