Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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