i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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