just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
