Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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