I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
