I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
