Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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