There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My dick has a subreddit
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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