she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
