nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
