This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
