My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
