i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
