I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
birth control should be required to get into college
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
