Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
