so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
