do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
