piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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