idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize