i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
