let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
