On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think my moral compass just broke
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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