i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
