you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
