One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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