Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize