You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I love having hate sex.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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