You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's blow job season.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
