Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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