I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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