Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
