the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
