I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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