Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
