Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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