So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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