Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
