At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
