he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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