I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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