it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
